Where to begin?
There has been a ton of stuff running through my mind today. I guess I have a lot to figure out about myself still that is extremely surprising. I often find myself feeling bad for my honesty and how blunt I can be. I know there's a difference between being honest in a loving christian manner, and being honest out of your own opinion and how you feel. I try to keep things based on how I see it, but I've come to realize that it can be offensive at times. I guess that person knew what they were talking about when they claimed that the truth hurt, but how honest should one be in regards to another person? Honestly, I think I'm gonna have to challenge myself to try this approach, don't say anything you know would hurt someone, but instead uplift them in an honest manner. I know sometimes people can do unspeakable, ugly things, but so can I. I'm not any more innocent than they are. What they decide to do is their business and not my own. My job is to show God's love to them, and hope that they will decide to follow the right path eventually. I apologize to anyone that my words have seemed harsh to. I only say my honest opinion to the people I care about the most, and I do it because at the time, I feel it would be wrong to leave you in the dark in regards to what others see as despicable, or even, immoral acts.
I sit there and I think about my relationship and what I expect from it. I have to be honest and say that I don't give Nathan much of a heads up either. I'm learning everyday how easy it is to totally get the wrong signals from each other. Things that weren't meant in harmful ways are actually put on that level and it creates a lot of bad vibes. To Nathan, I'm sorry that I acted the way I did earlier today. You were trying to be a good friend and I had no right to be upset. I find it so funny how stupid things can get so quickly and before I know it, I'm tumbling down a steep lumpy hill waiting to hit the bottom, yet you never fail to be there to catch me before I do. Instead you apologize for letting me tumble even as far as I have, and everything is back in place. You're a great person, even when I enlarge things sevenfold because I let things get to me so easily. Please forgive my girlish ways and understand that I was just expressing myself in the way I usually do: With out thinking.
The fact is, I'm blessed in my relationship. He's a guy who strives to be like Christ, even though he's far from perfect. Today a woman in my English 1301 class walked in pretty much an emotional wreck. She was trying not to cry and she had bruises and scratches along her face and chest. I see examples of broken relationships such as that, and I praise God for the people he has surrounded me with. They always try to encourage me, and push me in the right direction. It really does make the difference in ones life when they have friends who care about them and speak in a positive manner towards them. They never fail to help you get through everything. Which brings me to my next realization and thought for the day...
How lame the legal system is. I got a speeding ticket for going 7 over in a school zone. I already felt bad enough getting the ticket, yet they made me pay $137 for the court fees, now I have to pay some more money for defensive driving. I understand there are laws for a certain reason, and I have no problem paying the money, it's just how stupid the systems are when it comes to when and how you do things. I guess they make it so awful so that you won't ever want to go through that garbage again. Haha, I guess that actually does make sense. I find it funny how every one that works at the municipal courts here in Temple all have very unappealing facial expressions. Like they hate their jobs and really have no desire to help us at all. Instead they just take our money and tell us to get lost. Definitely do not get an "A" in customer service.
So anytime you feel down in the dumps or discouraged, remember, you're so not alone. We all face different problems everyday. No one has a perfect life. You have yours, so live with it and make the best of it. When life gives you lemons, make lemon squares, because a lot of people like lemon squares.
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