Saturday, January 28, 2012

Love... Call It What You May

Before I begin, I want to state for the record that I am the worst blogger ever. I never stay up with it much like my journaling haha. So now that that irrelivant statement is out of my system, on to bigger and greater things...

Love. What does that word mean?

Today, I feel like it has been tainted by the world. Yeah, call me cynical or whatever, but lets be real... Love isn't what it used to be.

Hollywood has painted an image of lust, passion, almost a perfect type of way that it should look. But in reality, it's never that way. As humans, we make mistakes. We can't always be there for those we care about. We can't always succeed in being caretakers, and ultimate comforters, but rather we fail and we hurt the ones we promised we wouldn't. I don't believe in just romantic love. I believe in a love that goes far beyond labels. I believe in God's love. A love that people have perverted by showing hatred and manipulating scripture into expressing what they want it to say. For instance, in regards to gay people. Yes, they are spoken of as an abomination in God's eyes, but that doesn't separate them from God's love. It is a huge shame to me that so many people hide behind the label of being a Christian, and are afraid to love everyone because it isn't the right thing to do, or is looked down upon. It saddens me that people are raised to be racist, anti-gay, or prejudice. But it's a big huge circle. Hate is coming from both ends.

I struggle to see how this world could one day get better. Forget politics, economy, the president... The truth is, the problem lies within everyone. We have chosen to live in a world separated; full of anger, war, hatred. The truth is, I believe we are far from a lot of things in regards of finding a balance. Finding the peace we are offered through Jesus Christ. Yeah, I will go on a religious tangent, because he is the only person in history who was perfect. Who cared for everyone, even the most dispised people. Jesus had a perfect love that overcame everything. He never let anyone down. He never hurt anyone. All he did was care, and sacrifice himself for us as an example. But, how do we repay him? By treating others wrongly.

No, we can never love like he did, but we can at least try. Black, white, mexican, asian, gay, lesbian.... You can't expect change unless you begin to take steps to make it happen. My hope is that we begin to move in that direction. That we strive to express the true love God intended for us to show.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Just Some Scribble Scrabble

Where to begin?

There has been a ton of stuff running through my mind today. I guess I have a lot to figure out about myself still that is extremely surprising. I often find myself feeling bad for my honesty and how blunt I can be. I know there's a difference between being honest in a loving christian manner, and being honest out of your own opinion and how you feel. I try to keep things based on how I see it, but I've come to realize that it can be offensive at times. I guess that person knew what they were talking about when they claimed that the truth hurt, but how honest should one be in regards to another person? Honestly, I think I'm gonna have to challenge myself to try this approach, don't say anything you know would hurt someone, but instead uplift them in an honest manner. I know sometimes people can do unspeakable, ugly things, but so can I. I'm not any more innocent than they are. What they decide to do is their business and not my own. My job is to show God's love to them, and hope that they will decide to follow the right path eventually. I apologize to anyone that my words have seemed harsh to. I only say my honest opinion to the people I care about the most, and I do it because at the time, I feel it would be wrong to leave you in the dark in regards to what others see as despicable, or even, immoral acts.

I sit there and I think about my relationship and what I expect from it. I have to be honest and say that I don't give Nathan much of a heads up either. I'm learning everyday how easy it is to totally get the wrong signals from each other. Things that weren't meant in harmful ways are actually put on that level and it creates a lot of bad vibes. To Nathan, I'm sorry that I acted the way I did earlier today. You were trying to be a good friend and I had no right to be upset. I find it so funny how stupid things can get so quickly and before I know it, I'm tumbling down a steep lumpy hill waiting to hit the bottom, yet you never fail to be there to catch me before I do. Instead you apologize for letting me tumble even as far as I have, and everything is back in place. You're a great person, even when I enlarge things sevenfold because I let things get to me so easily. Please forgive my girlish ways and understand that I was just expressing myself in the way I usually do: With out thinking.

The fact is, I'm blessed in my relationship. He's a guy who strives to be like Christ, even though he's far from perfect. Today a woman in my English 1301 class walked in pretty much an emotional wreck. She was trying not to cry and she had bruises and scratches along her face and chest. I see examples of broken relationships such as that, and I praise God for the people he has surrounded me with. They always try to encourage me, and push me in the right direction. It really does make the difference in ones life when they have friends who care about them and speak in a positive manner towards them. They never fail to help you get through everything. Which brings me to my next realization and thought for the day...

How lame the legal system is. I got a speeding ticket for going 7 over in a school zone. I already felt bad enough getting the ticket, yet they made me pay $137 for the court fees, now I have to pay some more money for defensive driving. I understand there are laws for a certain reason, and I have no problem paying the money, it's just how stupid the systems are when it comes to when and how you do things. I guess they make it so awful so that you won't ever want to go through that garbage again. Haha, I guess that actually does make sense. I find it funny how every one that works at the municipal courts here in Temple all have very unappealing facial expressions. Like they hate their jobs and really have no desire to help us at all. Instead they just take our money and tell us to get lost. Definitely do not get an "A" in customer service.

So anytime you feel down in the dumps or discouraged, remember, you're so not alone. We all face different problems everyday. No one has a perfect life. You have yours, so live with it and make the best of it. When life gives you lemons, make lemon squares, because a lot of people like lemon squares.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Lets Just Talk It Out

Miscommunication. 16 letters that cause a lot of problems for many couples today. Unfortunately, an understanding of the opposite gender will never ever happen, but trying to goes a long way when it comes to being in a relationship. There have been times, in my personal experiences, where I've offended Nathan without trying and he has done likewise with me. It's often hard to know what to say to help the other, because the truth is, we couldn't possibly know what is right for that person because we handle things differently. For instance, feelings. Yes, guys have feelings, but they definitely show them way less than girls do (well most guys for that matter).

Honestly, I think our problem is that we don't take the time to express how we feel. No one is a mind reader. We have to give insight to get what we're looking for or even a hint of what we want in our relationships. Even I struggle with this. When you truly care about someone, not necessarily romantically, but in any relationship, you should have the desire to be completely open with them. It's so important to show that you can trust them and letting them know they can trust you. being open is hard, and it makes you vulnerable, but it creates a different kind of understanding that the person you're in the relationship can grasp. People only know what you tell them.

Take this into consideration next time you're having boy or girl troubles :) It might make a difference!

Sunday, October 16, 2011

So it's been a while

Okay so I know I've been awful with keeping up with this thing. Truth is, a lot of stuff happened all at once and I kinda got caught up in this little thing we call life.

There has been a recent chain of events that have caused mayhem, yet have been truly great for my life. I recently moved jobs to another place and am enjoying it a lot more than my past job. I've also bonded closer with some family and other friends who I hadn't really talked to much. God has never failed to kick me in the behind and show me what was up. I was torn to shreds and completely broken. I had realized that I had been serving Ashlie, not the mighty, amazing God that I was created to serve.

I find it funny how things really work and come together. I see all the different changes and bad things that have gone on and how they've shaped me into a person that I've craved to be for a very long time. It's so easy to get swallowed into sadness and everything else around you, regardless of all the blessings we're given that are obviously there. But being stuck in foolishness and that awful pity party, we fail to even acknowledge them. Yeah, we're human, but people, excuses need to stop. Jesus could've come up with a million and one excuses not to save us, but he took what we gave him and still praised God for it. It's pitiful how everything is becoming, and how much I even personally let some things get to me. I constantly see people make threats to kill themselves (which is serious business), and I can't help but want to tell them to stop and be quiet. There are times when I feel super down and I feel like nothing can be fixed, yet I continue to fight the good fight as I am called to do. I have a purpose here on earth. Not to feel sorry for myself, but to preach the Word of God to people who are ignorant and starving for it. Every one has stuff going on. Let's face it, trials either make or break us, but where we place them in regards of importance to our lives is up to us, and definitely shows how much of yourself you are willing to kill for Christ. This place isn't our home, and instead of freaking out about the end of the world, or the president, or even that thing that you cant get over from like a zillion years ago, praise God for life and a chance to bring glory to him! Pray for forgiveness daily, and pray that you could even be a fraction of worthy for what he did on that Cross for you. The time we're given here is precious and we already waste almost all of it on junk that doesn't matter. Salvation was given at a great price, now put a little more effort in serving the amazing God who gave it all for us.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Dear Beloved Reader

I'm so sorry! I have tried to Blog for the last week and a half, and my computer refused to save it! There has been a lot going on since the last time I wrote.

I'll start with last week:

I took a trip to West Columbia, TX to visit a very near and dear friend of mine. There I saw rain, had non stop movie marathons (finally watched Avatar!), cooked an extremely delicious frozen meal, and just spent time with extremely amazing people! It was amazing. I felt like part of the family to an extent. Needless to say, I miss Nathan and his family greatly and I have no idea when I will see them next... Hopefully October-Fingers crossed!

I've recently gotten back into the groove of baking! I hadn't done it in such a LONG time, that I didn't realize how much I've missed it. It's something I'm decent at and I feel great when I see people enjoying my creations! The night Nathan and I cooked dinner for his family, we made a chocolate cake with a homemade fudge icing... it was SO good. Very rich, but extremely light to my surprise. Of course I could only manage a half of a "Nathan" size piece, but nonetheless, still very delighted with the outcome. Recently, I baked some cookies from scratch... Those were also extremely good! I can;t wait to bake the next thing.

It's great how God gives us simple things such as time with friends and hobbies to help us escape the chaos of life just for a little while. I can't help but smile, even through my sad moments, knowing that I have a God who pulls me through and brings joy in the morning. I'm very thankful for my family and friends whom he has given me to get through this life with. I know very many sweet, loving, and talented people. I can't wait to grow closer in my friendships, and become the next baker on the Food Network! Again, thanks to my four followers! You're appreciated! Again I'm sorry it's been awhile since I've posted!


Thursday, July 21, 2011

Dear Ivy Fannin (A True Proverbs 31 Woman)

Congrats on two years since you graduated from mercy Ministries! I am EXTREMELY proud of you! I love how you cleverly killed Tracy's battery just so I could see you guys tonight! It has been a blessing to see you grow, and to be inspired to grow myself by your sweet and caring actions! I will never forget every second spent together... All our lovely dates at the O.G, and all the fat jokes made towards me by our waiter because I ate every single thing on my plate plus some. I'll never ever forget Howie the Bread Stick and how we laughed like huge goof balls and the same waiter judged us for making him (btw I think he was hitting on you, butttt I digress). I won't forget chilling with you when you taught us young scared girls about purity. I'll never forget the courage you had when you stood before the congregation and shared your testimony right after you got out of Mercy Ministries.

But most of all I wont forget your friendship. The perfect influence you, Trina, and Laura have been to me could never ever be expressed in words. I look forward to many more awesome memories with you! I love you so much.... because you, m'lady, are the BOMB DIGGITY :)

"A Woman of Noble character who can find she is worth far more than Rubies"

--Proverbs 31:10

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Putting Myself in Check!

Today I deleted my old Facebook and created a new one! These past few days I've felt trapped and I had the desire to make a change that would let me know that I still had some control in my life. Sure all the cussing and filthy talk that was blowing up my news feed was getting old and annoying to read, but hitting that deactivate button gave me such a feeling of power and control it was AMAZING. Constant chaos is never good for the soul, so I decided to break it for just a mere minute to control something petty :) 

It's just so crazy how things have been going lately. Even though it can get pretty bad, I find comfort in my Heavenly Fathers words. Jesus knows how we feel. he went through a bunch worse than I have. I guess it's sad that we've become such a self involved people who fail to realize that we haven't even touched what Christ did for us. We also forget to remember that this place isn't supposed to be paradise. We face trials because we refuse to completely rely on Christ. Falling into His arms are the last thing we ever think to do. If everyone followed his plan and did not sin or stray, things wouldn't ever get bad. Of course I can be comforted by the words of one of my all time favorite verses:

" And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."

Romans 8:28

God definitely has a plan and I just need to keep reminding myself that. Dear readers, keep me in your prayers! It would be highly appreciated!