Do you ever find yourself in those moments when you realize that a lot of different things in your life are falling apart? I'm in that moment right now. Sure there is a ton of good and wonderful things I have been greatly blessed with, but my annoying self-pitying side only sees the bad. I seriously wonder how things become so bad so quickly before you even have the chance to change anything or gain control of the situation. You just feel utterly helpless. You don't really know who to turn to, or what to do. Everyone says prayer and giving it to God is the number one solution to feeling better, and I agree 100%, but there is also my physical need to find condolence within my friends and family.
As a girl, it's so easy to get the wrong reputation pretty quickly. One mistake and everyone sees you as a woman of ill-repute or even as someone no one desires to be friends with. Sure, that probably isn't the case, and I'm thinking the worst possible things here, but it's hard not to. I remember hearing many different bible studies preached over purity and how girls hold on to many sins they've carried for a very long time. But, how is it easy to let go when the people you had listened to and heard preach this are the ones who are being judgmental? When they tell your secret that wasn't theirs to tell in the first place? Do they not realize that in doing this they have lost my trust, my respect, and have created an opening for drama to start? Yes, I am completely at fault for what I did, and yes I wasn't necessarily respectful to them when doing it, but what happened to people make mistakes? Forgive as the Lord forgave you. I get that I'm not perfect, and I can be judgmental as well, but I am a FIRM believer in practice what you preach. Jesus loved everyone, not just the people who were willing to bow down to Him right off the bat. He loved EVERYONE... He paid the price for EVERYONE. I also get that they are human too so they will show this in their actions as well, but being completely rude about it all and telling people aren't going to make it better.
It's hard to express my frustrations in a very sweet manner because I am deeply and completely hurt by what happened. I wish people weren't so insensitive. I wish instead of pointing out others mistakes, that they would stop and consider their own. I'm not saying that things should go unpunished and that people should be allowed to get away with anything, but I think after you've already set a punishment, bringing it up in a publicly humiliating way is just flat out wrong.
I'm sorry if this comes across as harsh, but this is what is on my mind tonight. It's all forgiven now, and after tonight I'm gonna try my best to leave it in the past. Just please refrain from doing it to others, because they probably will handle it a little differently than I have.